international surrogacy in the UK

Surrogacy-Quote-43by danielle
(blackpool lancashire uk)

can i be a surrogate mother for an american citizen if im from the uk and if so how do i go about this thank u

Interested in becoming a ts surrogate mother for those in need of one

Reply by Rayven
Hi Danielle,

There really is not an advantage for an American citizen to seek a surrogate mother in the UK. It would be very expensive to fly back and forth, and the laws in the UK are much less favorable than those in the United States.

Usually, UK intended parents will look for a surrogate mother in the United States, not the other way around.

If you are looking to become a surrogate mother, there are many couples in the UK looking for a surrogate mother. There is no need for you to look for international intended parents. There are plenty local parents looking for you.

As to the legalities, or if it is even possible, you would need to contact an attorney in the UK that specializes in surrogacy and ask about the requirements. There are many aspects to look into with such a situation, including how traditional surrogacy is dealt with, and issues such as citizenship, etc.

But unless you are becoming a surrogate mother for a family member that happens to be a US citizen, again, I see no advantage for an American using a UK surrogate. It would be so much easier and less expensive for an American to use an American surrogate.

Surrogacy compensation and payments

Surrogacy-Quote-39by Kassie
(Dallas, TX)

We have an experienced surrogate and didn’t use an agency. We have our contract and everything complete and just waiting the arrival of the baby. How soon do I have to pay off the remaining balance?

Reply by Rayven
Every surrogacy contract is different, and all cover the way compensation payments are made to a surrogate mother. The contract should specify if payments are made monthly or by trimester, how much the payments are, and when they need to be delivered.

Any remaining payments due at the birth of the child also should be noted in the contract. The longest I have ever seen is within 30 days of the birth of the baby. Most say something along the lines of “at birth” meaning pretty much as soon as she is out of the hospital.

What does your contract say? Whatever it says is what you are required to follow.

How old do you have to be to hire a surrogate?

Surrogacy-Quote-01 by Brooklynn
(West Virginia)

I have had 2 miscarriages and desperately want to be a Mom. The doctors tell me I have anovulation preventing me from getting pregnant and I also have a blood clotting disorder called Antiphospholipids Syndrome preventing me from being able to take the medicine to make my body ovulate again. There is just one problem for hiring a surrogate, Im only 19. I have a close friend who would be a surrogate for me for free. But am I too young legally to have a surrogate?

Reply by Rayven
Depending on which state you live in, it could be 18 or 21. Your friend would need to be 21. Check with a surrogacy attorney in your state.

Just to clarify, just because your friend is willing to be a surrogate “for free”, you are aware that the journey itself will not be free, correct? You’re talking tens of thousands of dollars. A starting estimate for an altruistic gestational surrogacy without an agency could be $30-50K+, depending on your circumstances.

I have 4 children of my own and would love to be a surrogate mother but i have been sterilised

Surrogacy-Quote-107by julie
(united kingdom)

I am a 43 year old happily married mother with 2 boys 23 and 18 years old and 2 girls 22 and 13 years old that i love dearly. The biggest problem i feel i have is that i have been sterilized and was wondering if i can have this reversed and am i too old to be a surrogate mother. I have a great friend that i think highly of and would love to give her a baby as she would make an excellent mother and should be given a chance as she is always giving to others and it is time she got a bit back as she has had complications in the past.

Reply by Rayven

You are still able to be a gestational surrogate mother (carrying your friend’s eggs, or an egg donor’s eggs) but not a traditional surrogate mother (using your own eggs). You do not need to get a reversal to be a gestational surrogate.

Usually, when a woman is over 40, her chances of becoming a surrogate mother decrease significantly unless she has recently had a baby. In your case, because this is a friend, it might not matter so much, but if you intend to do this, you need to do it soon.

Best wishes!

should the traditional surrogate be allowed to hold the baby at birth?

Surrogacy-Quote-122by Tamara
(Reynoldsburg,Ohio, USA)

My husband and I have found our surrogate, a close family friend who is 6 months pregnant with her own child. My husband has a fascination with pregnant women. Already, he is all over her tummy trying to feel the baby move and listening for its heartbeat,while placing his head on her tummy.

This isnt even his/our baby that hes doing this to her with! I know I shouldnt be jealous, but I am, and it makes me very sad. Once she is pregnant with our child Im quite certain his behaviour will be much worse.

Even though she will be a traditional surrogate, is it wrong of me to request that she NOT hold the baby at birth? After all it will be MY baby and not for her…Im trying not to be greedy, jealous and sad in all of this, but its very hard.

I can not carry a baby and so my husband will never feel his child growing inside of me… never place his head to my tummy to listen for his childs heart…I know this is a major sacrifice for her..We have already discussed staying in contact and making her and her husband god parents..I just dont want her to bond with a baby that is ultimately intended to be MY child. Is that wrong of me? How do I handle this??

Reply by Rayven

It sounds as if you have quite a few issues going on here, the least of which is the fear of your traditional surrogate mother holding the baby when he is born.

First, lets talk about the jealousy. Jealousy is one of the “unspoken” issues of surrogacy, but contributes the biggest to surrogacy arrangements that turn into nightmares. Being jealous of the fact that your surrogate mother is able to carry your baby is natural, but you need to examine your jealousy and find ways to manage it now, before you start your journey.

And if your husband’s actions are making you uncomfortable, now is the time to talk with him about them. It is extremely important that you communicate with one another and reach an understanding. If needed, seek the advice of a counselor.

Failing to acknowledge and deal with issues of jealousy before the surrogacy begins will almost certainly result in a bad journey, filled with accusations and hurt feelings. And more importantly, in your situation, it can permanently destroy a friendship.

Your comments about your surrogate holding the baby confuse me. Most surrogacy arrangements happen between intended parents and surrogate mothers who are virtual strangers. They meet for the purpose of bringing a baby into the world, and though they may part as friends, they didn’t start out that way.

Often, intended mothers ask if they should “let” the surrogate hold the baby, concerned about bonding issues. If your surrogate mother was going to bond with the baby, it would most likely have been done long before the birth. Most surrogate mothers like to have a chance to see that the baby is OK, and to say good bye. There is absolutely no reason why you would not want the surrogate mother to hold the baby.

She shouldn’t be the first person to do so, however. You and your husband should.

The reason your question on the surrogate holding the baby confuses me is because you have stated that your surrogate is a close friend, and you plan on making her a god-parent. It seems odd to me that you would be concerned over her bonding with her own god-child. She should bond with the baby. That’s a good thing!

Nearly every surrogate mother has the opportunity to hold the baby. You’ve trusted her to carry your child for 9 months. You can trust her to hold that child in her arms.