me and my girlfriend/ fiance have been talking about having a baby…

by vicky
(binghamton, ny usa)

i am 30 years old and already have 4 children. me and my girlfriend/ fiancee have been discussing having s baby for a very long time… we have spoken about trying the “traditional” way, but we have also spoken about having a sperm donor and even me carrying her egg… i guess what i would like to know is how we can go about the process of me carrying her egg (actually having her baby), and a rough estimate on the cost of the whole thing… i hope to heaar from you soon in some way. i dont want to wait too long to do this considering alot of risks are involved in pregnancy the higher up in age… i will look forward to hearing from you… thank you so much.

Reply by Rayven
I’m not sure what you mean by “traditional”. With a lesbian relationship, I would assume that the traditional way to start a family would be to choose one partner and use a sperm donor, perhaps in a clinic setting. This would be the most cost advantageous method.

As far as what would be needed if you were to carry her baby, it would be similar to a gestational surrogacy, except you would not be a surrogate, but an intended mother.

She would go through an egg retrieval and you would go through IVF. You’d still need a sperm donor, of course.

I’m not certain legally how you would both be put on the birth certificate, since that varies by state with different laws. Find a family lawyer in your state to discuss the legalese.

And as to costs, that varies. Call around to IVF clinics in your area to determine costs.

And as for age, 30 is not too old by any means to undergo IVF. Its probably quite young on the IVF scale. I’m 32 and am pregnant for the third time via IVF. Many women undergo IVF for the first time in their 40’s. Its actually more important that the eggs are young than the woman who is carrying the baby. If your partner is in her 40s, then the quality of the eggs might be questionable. Talk with your IVF clinic about this.

Posted in Ask a Surrogate.