I was Adopted, but I didn’t want to Adopt

…from a reader

I was adopted as a child, my parents decided to adopt because they were getting older and couldn’t afford expensive fertility treatments. When I started dating and finally met the right guy we we’re married with the hopes that we could later have children.

My husband has great job benefits and we wanted to have kids as soon as possible. So we started about a year after we got married, I was off birth control and having a great time with the intent to conceive. I got my hopes up each time I reached for a pregnancy test.

Each month that passed I felt more and more anxious. I never knew my birth mother so I wasn’t sure of her genetics or what problems she had that I could inherit. It seemed that everywhere I went there were babies – babies at the grocery store, the mall, strollers up and down every sidewalk. I would turn on the TV and see nothing but commercials about diapers or baby formula.

To make things worse it seemed that all of my friends were having kids or getting pregnant. One close friend of mine got pregnant on accident and was bragging about how pleasant of a surprise it was. I was jealous and had what I would call “Baby Fever”.

After a year and a half of futile efforts my husband and I were persuaded to visit a fertility doctor. After a few tests he determined that my body wasn’t producing enough eggs and my uterine lining was too thin to support the environment of a fetus.

I was crushed and found myself moping about the house. Of course I could still adopt kids if I wanted to, we were both stable and qualified to adopt. It’s just that I wanted my child to have a birth mother and father. I never had the chance to know mine and wanted to pass on my and my husband’s family heritage.

We had several treatments from the doctor. I was prodded, poked, injected, and had to take several pill “cocktails”. My family was concerned and thought that it wasn’t “natural” what I was doing. They assumed I was trying to fool “mother nature”. All I wanted was kids and I was willing to do anything to get them.

After a year and a half of expensive and draining treatment I had bothered to stop testing myself to see if I was pregnant. A month or two later I noticed I was sick in my stomach in the mornings and my period was late.

Nervousness and anticipation crawled around in the back of my head as I waited for that little stick to let me know if I could achieve my dream. In my excitement I gave the stick to my husband and waited for him to read me the results. With baited breath he announced that we were a positive. I could feel a relief rush through my body and my heart beating a thousand miles a minute.

Finally I was able to go shopping for little baby booties and participate in the great selection of a crib and baby toys. I’d be able to paint what would be the “babies” room. Little did I know my fertility treatment would bless me with twins considering I had started to release more than one egg. I didn’t mind though because I considered it to be a makeup for the three years I desperately tried to get pregnant.

I’m extremely happy with my decision to use fertility treatment to help me. I guess if the treatment didn’t end up working I’d eventually adopt or attempt surrogacy. I’ve always wanted children, and now I feel so blessed to have that gift.

Posted in Infertility Stories.