So you just signed up to become a surrogate mother and now you need to figure out what that all means. WHOA! NO! That’s a little backwards. Surrogacy is complicated, and messy, and pretty damned awesome! But its super important that you figure out what it all entails; the good, the bad, and the ugly, BEFORE you commit to it. And to do that, you start here.
Terms and Definitions
What is surrogacy?
In it’s simplest definition, surrogacy is the act of one woman carrying a baby for someone else. After she gives birth, the woman who carried the baby will not parent the child; the baby is not hers. The parents (called “intended” parents) who made the arrangement will be the legal and rightful parents of the baby.
Now, before we officially get started here (and there’s a lot to it), it’s super important for you to learn the language and code words. There’s lots of unique jargon in this community, and fun acronyms to learn before you go and post or comment on our Facebook group. (but you can totally join that group right now -we’d love to have you)
Now, I’ve done a super job of being crystal clear on terminology throughout this website, but you’re going to encounter these terms elsewhere in the community, so you’ll want to read up now. Oh! And there are a couple fun links about how surrogacy got started.
- Interested in Becoming a Surrogate? Find out if you qualify
- Terms and Acronyms
- The History of Surrogate Journeys
- The Case of Baby M
The Ethics of Surrogacy
So, here’s the thing. As wonderful and magical as we know surrogacy to be, there is much debate worldwide on the ethics of surrogate motherhood. The following pages will help you get a firm handle on the main topics of conversation, and will help you enlighten those acquaintances and family members who will burden you with their opinions. And remember, you can always choose not to participate in a negative conversation.
Different Types of Surrogate Mothers
When we’re talking about surrogacy, there are two very different types of surrogate mothers that you’ll find: gestational and traditional. Both have the same end result: a woman carrying a baby for someone else that she will not parent.
But there’s a big difference in DNA between a traditional surro and a gestational surro. And then, egg donors get involved. So, read up on all three roles so you know which one is appropriate for you.
- About Gestational Arrangements
- About Traditional Arrangements
- About Altruistic Arrangements *hint <– they don’t get paid
- About Egg Donation
Different Types of Intended Parents
Ok, so you have a firm understanding on the different types of surrogate mothers. (If not, stop here, scroll up, and take a few minutes to read. I promise not to be too wordy.) Well, there are also different types of intended parents. Straight and gay couples, as well as single parents, come to surrogacy for a myriad of different reasons.
And they are from different places – this may or may not matter to you as a surrogate, but you’re going to want to get the facts now so that you can go over them in your mind before you get matched and pregnant.
How Surrogacy is Viewed
We talked a little bit ago (scroll up) about negative opinions on surrogacy, and some great talking points when confronted with people who choose to vocalize their disgruntlement. But most of the general population is not negative about surrogacy; they’re just…..ah….confused.
And, what about how the intended parents feel? Gain some new perspective here.
In the News
The surro community has always gotten lots of media attention. Now that it’s mainstream and pretty much accepted, it’s becoming more common and we are seeing lots of stories about it.
Made it this far? Congrats! You’re well on your way towards learning if this beautiful, wonderful, and life-changing world is right for you. Next, you’ll want to head back to the master Surrogates Start Here page to keep going down the list. Education is your most valuable asset here. That, and a body that does pregnancy well.
I’ll rub my tummy for you! Wait – what on earth does that mean??!! Well, it’s a sign of good luck for a woman who is pregnant to rub her tummy for those who are not, but want to become pregnant. And, as I’m writing this, I’m pregnant (as a surrogate), so it’s my way of saying “good luck”.
Oh, and I’d love to know WHY you’ve decided to become a surrogate. Share in the comments below:
What made you decide to become a surrogate mother?