The Surrogacy Interview – Steps in Finding a Surrogate Mother or Intended Parents

The surrogacy interview is an important step in finding a surrogate mother or becoming a surrogate mother by finding a set of intended parents to work with.

After placing or answering a surrogate mother wanted ad, its time to weed through the responses to find what you are looking for.

Whether you have decided to match through an agency or through an independent surrogacy, when you get started you will probably be flooded with several potential matches.

Its important for you to be able to narrrow them down to easily find who you are looking for.

The following tips will help.

Talk With Your Partner

No matter if you are a interested in becoming a surrogate mother or finding a surrogate mother, before matching and conducting your surrogacy interview, you need to sit down with your partner and talk about issues that are important to you.

Issues such as abortion and selective reduction are among the most important.

It is very important that you discuss your views on these subjects and that you seek out surrogates or intended parents who share your views.

Do not think it cannot happen to you.

Discussing these issues with your partner is very important as it allows you to verbalize your concerns and gives you practice for when it is time to conduct your surrogate mother wanted interviews.

Make a List

Make a list of questions you would like to ask your potential match during your surrogacy interview. You can use the examples on this website to get you started:

Feel free to add or subtract any information you feel as necessary.

These are intended to be guides for you to use when becoming a surrogate mother or finding a surrogate mother.

As you go through your lists of potential matches, immediately disqualify anyone who’s views do not match up with yours, no matter how attractive the rest of their qualities.

I cannot stress this enough.

DO NOT compromise your beliefs for an otherwise perfect match and an assumption that it cannot happen to you.

The Surrogacy Interview

I highly recommend that initial surrogacy interviews be conducted via email or telephone and not in person. Once you meet a set of intended parents or a potential surrogate mother in person, it becomes more real, and you are probably somewhat emotionally involved. When you are emotionally involved, sometimes it is hard to keep an open mind and follow through with your convictions on important surrogacy issues.

It’s easy to fall in love with a couple or potential surrogate in person. It is much easier to dismiss a potential match from an interview over the phone.

Go through your list of questions during your surrogacy interview and take notes. Be very clear and honest with your answers as well. Do not stretch the truth or go along with something you don’t agree with.

Even if your potential match answers all your questions perfectly, if you feel your personalities clash or you do not feel a connection, even at this point, pass. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Chances are, you will interview with multiple people on your surrogate mother wanted quest before you find your perfect match. That’s OK. Take your time.


The matching process in surrogacy is much like dating.

There are a lot of emotions involved; there is anxiety, hope, and often disappointment.

Everyone is on their best behavior.

Think of the interview portion of the matching process as speed dating. You will go through a lot of short, fast conversations in order to find the best match for you.

Then, it’s onto meeting in person.

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