Intended Parents Questionnaire – Questions to Ask When Becoming a Surrogate Mother

This intended parents questionnaire will help all women who are interested in becoming a surrogate mother. There are many surrogacy issues to go through with potential intended parents before starting a commercial surrogacy journey. Learn what questions to ask to match you with your perfect intended parents and get started on surrogate motherhood.

After finding potential intended parents to work with in commercial surrogacy, it is important to interview them, and have them interview you, to see if you are a good match.

The Surrogacy Interview

In addition to liking each other’s personality, there are a few critical surrogacy issues that you need to address before deciding if these are the right people to work with.

It is not uncommon to use this intended parents questionnaire to interview with several sets of potential intended parents before finding the right couple to work with. This process will take time. Do not try and rush it.

It is recommended that this initial intended parents questionnaire be conducted either via email or over the phone.

Don’t do this in person.

Why? Some of these questions are intimidating, both for the person asking the questions and the person answering them.

If you ask these questions in person, you may be tempted to leave out some of the more intrusive ones due to your feeling uncomfortable asking them.

Over the phone or via email, it is much easier to ask.

Also, if you find that the potential intended parents do not “pass” your intended parents questionnaire, it is easier to decide not to work with them if you have not met in person yet.

Here are a few of the more common questions and surrogacy issues that are advisable to ask.

You can put the questions you feel are important together into a word document and email them to potential intended parents before speaking to them.

Intended Parents Questionnaire: Getting to Know You Questions

Names, Ages
Where are you from?
What do you do for a living?
Where did you meet?
How long have you been together?
Do you have other children? Together, or from previous relationships? Do you have legal custody of all of your children?
Does your family know that you are looking into surrogacy? If not, are you planning to tell them?
What religion are you? What are your religious beliefs?
Describe your personalities. What are your interests? Hobbies?
Has anyone in your household ever been arrested or convicted of a crime?

Intended Parents Questionnaire: Health Questions

Why are you looking for a potential surrogate mothers?
If it is because of a medical issue, is the condition fatal? In other words, would there be a likelihood that the child would lose its parents?
Have you ever been under psychological care, or hospitalized for psychiatric reasons?
Is there a history of treatment for drug or alcohol related illness?

Intended Parent Questionnaire: Surrogacy Issues

How many IVF attempts (or cycles) are you willing to try in order to conceive a child?
How many embryos do you foresee implanting during each attempt?
What are your feelings on becoming the parents of twins or triplets?
What are your feelings on selective reduction?
What are your feelings on abortion if it was found that a child was found to have birth defects?
If an amniocentesis was recommended, knowing the risks to the fetus, would you want one performed?
Do you have a support system in place for surrogacy issues you may be facing during this journey?

During the Pregnancy

What kind of contact do you foresee having during the surrogate pregnancy? Do you want to go to every doctor’s appointment? Or would you only like to attend ultrasounds, or no appointments at all?
Who would you want present at the birth? Do you want to be there?
If a c-section was required, would you be OK with the decision of your surrogate to include her husband in the room instead of the intended mother/father?
How do you feel about various forms of publicity?
Would you like to videotape the birth?

Intended Parents Questionnaire: Financial Questions

Are you aware of the costs associated with surrogate motherhood? Are you in a financial position to be able to meet those commercial surrogacy costs?
What types of compensation are you looking to provide to your surrogate? Do you have a set figure in mind?
Is this figure negotiable?

Intended Parents Questions: After the Pregnancy

What kind of future contact do you foresee having with your surrogate mother?
Would you want your surrogate mother to express breast milk for the baby?
Would you be interested in doing a second commercial surrogacy in the future as a sibling project if the first surrogate motherhood journey worked out? How far into the future? (one year, three years, right away, etc)

When becoming a surrogate mother, it is also important to include questions in your intended parents questionnaire that might reflect your personal or religious feelings. Do you only want to work with intended mothers who wish to stay home with their children? That’s fine. How about those who are only your specific religion? That’s OK too.

What is not OK is to rush the matching process because you are eager to get started, only to find yourself in a situation where you are compromising your feelings and beliefs.

There are plenty of potential intended parents out there. Take your time with matching in your surrogate motherhood journey. Use this questionnaire, and find the right intended parents to work with in commercial surrogacy.

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