by Tamera Weathers
(Fayetteville, North Carolina)
How long should I wait and how old do I have to be, to be a surrogate mother?
I am currently 5 months pregnant, with my first child and after I have my son, I want to apply to be a surrogate mother. My question is: how long should I wait after I have my son?
Also, I am 19 years old, and I will be 20 soon and I am wondering how old do I have to be, to be a surrogate mother and why?
Reply by Rayven
Congratulations on the upcoming birth of your child! And what a kindhearted person you are for considering becoming a surrogate mother.
First, you must have clearance from your OBGYN after your delivery to qualify to become a surrogate mother. What does that mean? Your doctor must say that he/she feels you are medically capable of another pregnancy.
Often, this is a personal preference from doctors. I had one doctor who thought 6 weeks was sufficient (after delivering TWINS!) to begin trying for another pregnancy, and another doctor who thought a minimum of 6 months after a normal, no complications pregnancy was a better idea. (Both doctors worked in the same practice.)
But more importantly than that, it is really important that you are DONE having your own children before you begin surrogacy. Anything can happen during a pregnancy, and though rare, it does happen that a surrogate mother loses her ability to ever have another child while helping a couple become parents. More than one former surrogate mother has become an intended mother to complete her own family.
Additionally, you must be 21 in the United States to legally enter into the binding contract to become a surrogate, so you still have at least a year. (You’ll need that anyway if you plan to breastfeed; your periods need to be back to normal before you become a surrogate mother.)
Hope this helps! Actually, having just over a year to research, prepare, and possibly even match (assuming you are only planning one child of your own) is ideal, as you are not rushing anything, and are doing it right.