We’re not rich but would like to do surrogacy

Surrogacy-Quote-57My boyfriend and me are wanting to have a baby, and we can’t afford 50k for a surrogate. Is there any way to find someone professionally to have my baby?

Please no offensive comments toward this, I know that I should be rich to have a child in this country. To me, love is always the key to bringing up great children. My parents weren’t rich and I grew up happy and grateful. Thank you for your help and replies. -Aiden

Reply by Rayven
Aiden,

We have a joke in our home. Whenever my daughter starts a sentence with “no offense”, whatever comes out of her mouth next is usually highly insulting. And your comments about wanting someone “professional” and “knowing you must be rich to have a child” would be very insulting to anyone who has made the sacrifices to become a surrogate mother, myself included.

Having said that, I think you are a little confused on how surrogacy works, and how much it costs. A surrogate mother typically does not get paid $50K. Surrogacy itself costs about that much (estimated, costs vary due to many varied circumstances) with the fee to a surrogate included.

If you are looking to save money on surrogacy, you need to find an altruistic surrogate; perhaps a relative or close family friend who would have a baby for you without taking a fee.

Or go with a traditional surrogate.

Or donate your own eggs to fund surrogacy.

Or don’t go through an agency.

As you can see, there are many different options, and nearly every set of intended parents are NOT rich. They sacrifice to become parents. They save for years, they don’t take vacations, they don’t drive fancy cars, they save every last penny they have to do this, usually after spending tens of thousands of dollars on fertility treatments.

It’s not cheap, it’s not for everyone, but it is certainly not the surrogate’s fault! A typical first time surrogate will receive $18-22K in compensation, a far cry from $50k.

And a word of caution; don’t refer to a surrogate as a “professional”. It implies that she is in it for the money, when surrogates really aren’t. There’s just not enough money to be going thorough this situation for that.

Do some research, weight your options, come up with a plan, and follow it. If it’s something you really desire in life, you can do it.

Best wishes!

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Posted in Ask a Surrogate.