by Molly E.

Every since I was in my teen years, I knew I wanted a big family. A perfect husband, a nice house, and 4 or 5 kids running around; that was my dream.

Well I found the perfect boyfriend early, when I had just turned 18, he turned into the perfect fiancé by the time I was 20, and we were perfect married a little after my 21st birthday. My life at that time was perfect.

My husband and I had finished college, we had a generous amount of money saved up and put a down payment on a house. At that time I felt that life was only going to get better. Somewhere in between moving into our new house and my husband starting his new job, we started trying to a baby.

I was under the impression that I would become pregnant right away. That is what I thought happened with everyone. During high school teens are taught that without protection girls will get pregnant, so that’s what I thought.

My 23rd birthday reared it’s head, and I was still childless. I realized how much time had passed by and started researching fertility specialists. My husband thought it was pointless and assumed that nothing was wrong.

I made an appointment with an OB/GYN that also specializes in fertility treatments. On my first appointment I had an ultrasound done due to an enlarged uterus felt during the initial exam. Right away the doctor noticed a mass that was attached to one of my ovaries. The doctor told me that he could try and remove the mass without taking the ovary with, but he couldn’t guarantee it.

After my laparotomy I was informed that the ovary couldn’t be saved, but my other one was healthy and my tubes looked good. I was in panic mode. I wanted a lot of children, and if not, at least 1. I felt like I was being punished and I couldn’t understand why.

The doctor tried to calm me by letting me know that the chance of becoming pregnant with just one ovary is the same with have both. I was still worried though because I felt like something might happen where I would have to have the other one removed.

My doctor had also diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) in which the ovaries have small cysts and don’t function correctly.

After I was healed from surgery I started taking a medication called Metformin. It’s mainly used for diabetes, but can be used to jump-start ovulation in PCOS patients. I took it for 3 months and had no results, not to mention the horrible side effects it had on my stomach.

My Dr’s next suggestion was to take the ovulation inducing drug, Clomid. I was started on it and took it for 4 cycles. I successfully ovulated during my second and third cycles, but didn’t become pregnant.

By then I was truly irritated. I was turned 24, which meant that if within 3 months I wasn’t pregnant, I would have children until after I was 25. To me it was a big deal, to my husband, not so much.

My husband’s lack of support was what took the biggest toll on me. He did want children, just not as badly as I did. To me it was the end of the world. He had told me before that he didn’t care if I was infertile, as long as he still had me. I should have taken comfort in knowing that, but I just couldn’t. It was hard for me to come to terms with the fact that while I generally spent every waking moment thinking about babies, they hardly mattered to him.

After the Clomid failed, I tried hormone injections and started ovulating with almost every cycle. But the problem still remained, I didn’t get pregnant.

Another year had passed and the doctor was convinced that we needed to try Intrauterine Insemination (IUI). Being a fairly safe and simple procedure, we tried 3 times, but nothing happened. I felt totally helpless.

I wanted to consider adoption, but a stupid mistake my husband had made when he was 18 years old had landed him a year in jail, and a mark on his record and so we were not eligible. I secretly thought about divorcing him because of it. I felt like he was holding me back and was to blame. I loved him to death, and we are still together today, but infertility does strange and unexplainable things to people.

We ended up trying Invitro Fertilization (IVF) twice, but being as infertile as I am, I never became pregnant. My doctor urges me not to give up, but the journey has taken an emotional toll on me and I have begun to accept the sad fact that I may never have children.

At times I am content with my life and am happy to have nieces and nephews that fill the void, but in the back of my mind I am always hoping that a miracle will happen. I am 29 years old and my husband is 32.

We would like to have a baby by surrogacy, but the cost involved is more than our budget will allow. I hope and pray daily that my infertility be cured and that anyone else who is suffering be cured as well.

…from a reader

In 2001 I went to the hospital with severe abdominal pain. After waiting hours in the ER and then hours more in the exam room the doctor came in and told me that I had Polycystic Ovarian Disease and that I had an ovarian cyst that had ruptured.

I had never heard of that condition at all and was completely terrified. In a matter of minutes he basically told me not to ever expect to have children or to even try. I was completely devastated.

Three years passed and I got married. My husband and I never expected to have the chance to be parents unless we eventually decided to adopt. We were completely open to adoption and had decided this would be the way we would go when we were ready. We were not at a point in our lives that we were ready to have a child but we knew that some day that’s what we wanted.


In 2008 we were both working full time jobs. We had also moved onto a farm and were working nearly full time there in the evenings and on weekends.

In February of that year I had gone to work and a customer told me that I looked pretty that day. This really made me suspicious. You have to understand that my job was not a place that you looked pretty. I was working for a large format printing company and was always hot and sweaty. So, being told that I looked pretty made me start thinking.

I was due to have my period the following week, so, I wasn’t late yet. When I got home that evening, I went ahead and took a pregnancy test just out of curiosity. Almost instantly it was positive. I thought I was going to faint! My husband and I never used protection, but I was on oral contraceptives.

After 7 years of being told by various doctors that I couldn’t get pregnant… I was pregnant.

The next few days were a whirlwind of emotions. I was crying and saying I don’t want to be a Mom. Finally, after sitting on my couch and sobbing for hours one day, it sank in. I was really going to be a Mommy.

My pregnancy was hard. None of the hardships I went through were major. Just the normal sickness and aches and pains. I managed to get through and on November 4th, the day Obama was elected President, my daughter was born.

She has been the biggest joy of my life. I can’t imagine my life without her in it. I feel blessed that I was chosen to be her Mommy and I don’t know what I would do without her.

…from a reader

In the summer of 2000, I found myself divorced and left to raise 2 children without any help. I always wanted a large family, but at that moment in time it was the furthest thing from my mind. I was more concerned with providing a suitable life for the two children I was already responsible for.

Two years later I ran into an old friend from middle school. We picked up right where we left off only this time around we had a different connection. I knew from the first moment we reconnected that he and I were meant to be together. We spent day and night catching up and with each passing moment I was reassured that he was the one.

After 3 amazing years, we decided we were ready to create a new life together. He loved my two children and treated them as if they were his, but we felt that having a child together would complete our circle of love. So, with passion and optimism we set forth.

Month after month we were discouraged. We were doing everything by the book. I woke up at 6am every morning to check and chart my temperature. I stopped smoking and he gave up caffeine. Still, nothing was working. Each cycle would end with heartbreak and one red line indicating I was not pregnant.

Finally, in March of 2006, our prayers were answered. Two beautiful red lines appeared on a home pregnancy test. We were delighted and couldn’t wait to tell the world. Sadly, a few days later, our miracle child was no more. We miscarried and soon after depression set in.

We went to visit a doctor who deals with high risk pregnancies and infertility. He informed us that we should start trying again as soon as we’re emotionally ready. He felt that there was nothing to worry about from a medical perspective. So that’s just what we did. Four months later we conceived, only to have that one taken from us as well. I felt helpless and hopeless.

Why couldn’t I get pregnant? I asked myself that question everyday! My husband became curious as well. That’s when we decided that we should start seeking medical help. A few weeks later we made an appointment with the infertility clinic in our area. We had planned to get a semen analysis done to see if our complications were due to a sperm issue.

The woman on the phone was very friendly and reassuring. Though I was saddened by ours losses, I was feeling hopeful once again. I couldn’t wait to find out what was preventing us from conceiving so we could fix it and move forward.

The night before our appointment at the clinic, I felt different. Something seemed off within my body. I didn’t think for a moment that I was pregnant but I had one last test laying around the house and figured I would use it. To my amazement it was positive!

The very next morning I called the clinic to cancel my appointment. I told them I found out the night before that I was pregnant. The woman on the line congratulated me and shared her heartfelt positive wishes. Naturally I was scared that this pregnancy would end in miscarriage as well, but we were truly blessed.

In May of 2007, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. He is our miracle child. After 16 months of trying we were finally given the gift of life that we so desperately longed for. Today we celebrated his 3rd birthday, and what an amazing three years it has been!