i have had 3 children, 2 were born prem, and spent a short time in scbu, apart from that pregnancys all great, no actual known reason for prematurity
babies all healthy now.

would this make it hard/ or me not able too be a surrogate

im 25 years old

Reply by Rayven
It probably will make a difference, depending on just how premature they were.

My suggestion would be to find a surrogate agency and go through them. They will let you know if your specific situation will prevent you from becoming a surrogate mother.

Surrogate Agency Directory

I am 20 years old. Have a 9 month old baby boy who was born very healthy. I am married and have been for about 2 years as of next month. I meet all the requirements but my age. I wont be 21 until next summer. I would love to be a surrogate mother because I have seen the joy of having a baby in my own life. It would make my day to know I can help someone to be able to experience that wonderful joy.

Reply by Rayven

Honestly, its going to depend on the state you will give birth in. Some will allow 18-20 year olds, most only want 21+ (though ironically, the spouse of the surrogate mother may be younger, 18+).

Irregardless, I would begin the surrogacy process now. Do you research. Ask questions. Find an attorney. Figure out the laws in your state. Sit down with your partner and figure out your fees. This takes time. A couple months perhaps.

Then you can start to look for a couple to help. If you cannot become a surrogate mother in your state until you are 21, then let them know. It probably won’t be a problem, it will just mean that you cannot get started until the summer. Many intended parents want an extended period of time to get to know their surrogate mother anyways.

by sierra
(ga)

how long do you have to wait after you have a baby to be a surrogate mother

Reply by Rayven

There is no set rule for this, but it is generally accepted that as soon as your OB/GYN clears you for having another child, you can start a surrogacy.

For example, after I gave birth to the twins in my first surrogacy, my OB/GYN cleared me to get pregnant again at my 6 week check-up! Of course, his partner, seeing me in the hospital recommended 6-months because of the fact that I carried multiples. So there is much wiggle room here.

We waited 6-months before starting another surrogate pregnancy.

Best wishes.

AS THE MOTHER OF A SURROGATE MOTHER, READY TO DELIVER, I WOULD LIKE TO GET HER A SMALL PERSONAL GIFT FOR HER WILLINGNESS TO GIVE ANOTHER COUPLE A DREAM OF A LIFETIME. CAN YOU HELP ME WITH SOME IDEAS?

Reply by Rayven
I have a whole page on this site just for coming up with fun ideas on gifts to give to a surrogate mother or intended parents.

Surrogate Mother Gifts

Some sentimental ideas for the birth: how about naming a star for her, getting her a bonsai tree, or having a tree planted in her honor? Or maybe a gift of a spa day, or massage after her hard work?

There are a bunch of different ideas on the page linked above. Check them out!

Best wishes!

by Katie Felt
(Lincoln, CA)

I just took a blood test after my first try at surrogacy, and I am not pregnant. I never had a trouble getting pregnant on my own. Is there anything I can do better next time?

I have a 7 yr. old and a 4 yr. old. I got pregnant the first time I tried with both of them. My IP’s tried with another surrogate 4 times and switched to me and a new egg donor. I took all my meds at 7:30 every night. I have been doing everything right…or at least I thought.

I feel like a big failure now. Does this happen a lot? I am 33…am I too old? The doctor said my uterus looked beautiful. The embryo’s were perfect. I am so confused!!!! There really isnt a lot of support. Thanks for doing this. I dont know where else to turn. PLEASE HELP!! THANKS!!
Katie Felt

Reply by Rayven
Katie,

Hang in there! Yes, failed transfers are very common to IVF in general and in surrogacy. It is unfortunate, but true.

If you followed doctor’s orders and took your meds, then there is nothing you personally did wrong, and should not feel guilty. Sometimes its just not in the cards.

If your uterus “looked beautiful” you are most definitely not too old (especially at 33…40+ maybe, but not 33).

Have you talked with the nurse/doctor yet? I assume they told you that the test was negative and to stop meds? (if they did not, DO NOT STOP MEDS until they tell you to do so)

They may want to switch up your meds for the next transfer. The best thing you can do for the next transfer is to not let this setback affect you. Don’t get stressed about it, realize you did everything you could have done, and the next time will be better.

Best wishes to you!