How old do intended parents need to be

by Cody Weimann

I am a single male who want’s to become a father, and I was wondering how old I have to be in order to start a surrogacy program and what are the costs?

Reply by Rayven
Ironically, surrogate mothers need to be 21+ but intended parents and the surrogate’s husband only need to be 18+. If you can afford it, you can do it.

As to the costs of surrogacy, they vary greatly from situation to situation:

Will this be a traditional surrogacy, or a gestational surrogacy with an egg donor?

Will the surrogacy take place locally, or are your state laws prohibitive with single-father surrogacy, so you must get a surrogate in another state?

Is your surrogate a close friend or family member who will not take a fee, or will you be looking for a first-time surrogate or an experienced surrogate?

Will the surrogate have health insurance, or will you be paying cash for all prenatal and delivery care?

Will the procedure take the first time, or take multiple tries?

Will there be multiples?

As you can see, it varies significantly. It could be as low as $20,000 for a local friend acting as a traditional surrogate, to upwards of $100K if you need an experienced gestational surrogate in another state and it takes a few tries, and you need to get an egg donor and there is bedrest and ….etc.

There are too many variables to give you any sort of exact price. Check out more pages on fees in the “Compensation” tab to your left.

Becoming a Surrogate Mother at Age 19

by Tori McCrea
(Buckhannon, Wes Virginia )

Hello, I am 19 years old. And I went through menopause at 9 years old. I have always wanted to become a young mother and to go through the whole process of carrying a baby. I have a rare chromosome disorder called Turners mosaic Syndrome, and my ovaries are no longer usable. But I was told by my doctor that my uterus is perfect! I know a couple that has been trying to get pregnant for about 13 years now. And I want to help them. Am I too young?.

Reply by Rayven
Yes, you are too young. You MUST be 21 or older to become a surrogate mother in the United States, to legally enter into the surrogacy contract. Period.

With your medical issues, you might not qualify to become a surrogate mother, even if you have already found intended parents. When you are old enough, you will need to talk with their clinic to see if they would accept you.

Best wishes!

Why is surrogacy risky?

Where does the extra risk of losing your own ability to have more children after being a surrogate come from? Is it just due to the higher risk of multiples?

I know you have said that you highly suggest that a surrogate is finished having her own children before becoming a surrogate. However, I am doing this for a friend, and my husband and I want to have 2 more children, but spread out over the next 3-5 years. My friend does not want to wait this long before having her child, but cannot afford the fee if she is paying for the surrogate.

So I guess I am asking do you have access to a web site with statistics on a surrogate’s loss of ability to have her own children after surrogacy? If the risk is in multiples, we are looking into selective reduction, as my friend does not want triplets or higher.

Reply by Rayven
Pregnancy, in and of itself, is risky. I’m sure you can uncover multiple risks to a woman’s health, life, and reproductive ability with any pregnancy with a simple google search. That alone is reason to make sure your own family has been completed before you become a surrogate mother.

Now, with surrogacy, there are additional risks, and yes, many are associated with how common multiples are in surrogacy. But then there are things like the fact that the more pregnancies you have, the more you are at risk for complications, and the fact that your body might not react well to the medications you are on.

Will it happen that you will not be able to have any further children after becoming a surrogate mother for your friend? Probably not. Can it happen? Absolutely.

The most important thing is to understand the risks and make an educated decision on whether you would like to proceed. It might also be a good idea to sit down with your OB/GYN and see what he/she recommends. Your doctor has most likely seen what can happen during a “normal” pregnancy and might be able to offer you practical advice.

my tubes are tied can i still get a surrogate?

Me and my husband have been married two years now and have two kids a peice, but none together. My tubes are tied can I get a surrogate with my tubes tied

Reply by Rayven
I’m somewhat confused by your post, but let me see if I can answer your question. (I’ll go through different scenarios in case I’ve misunderstood.)

If you are asking if you can BECOME a surrogate mother with your tubes tied, then YES, you can become a gestational surrogate, but not a traditional surrogate.

If you are asking if you can USE a gestational surrogate mother with your tubes tied, well, you can USE a surrogate mother for any reason, whether your tubes are tied or not.

You are able to do an egg retrieval to go through IVF when your tubes are tied, if that is what you are asking. Which leads me to the question, why not just go through IVF for yourself, instead of using a surrogate mother? If there is no medical reason for you to need a surrogate other than the fact that you’ve had your tubes tied, then you should be able to have your own baby via IVF.

If there is a medical need for a surrogate, you can still have your own biological child, even with your tubes tied, assuming you have good quality eggs.

I hope this answer was what you were looking for.

me and my girlfriend/ fiance have been talking about having a baby…

by vicky
(binghamton, ny usa)

i am 30 years old and already have 4 children. me and my girlfriend/ fiancee have been discussing having s baby for a very long time… we have spoken about trying the “traditional” way, but we have also spoken about having a sperm donor and even me carrying her egg… i guess what i would like to know is how we can go about the process of me carrying her egg (actually having her baby), and a rough estimate on the cost of the whole thing… i hope to heaar from you soon in some way. i dont want to wait too long to do this considering alot of risks are involved in pregnancy the higher up in age… i will look forward to hearing from you… thank you so much.

Reply by Rayven
I’m not sure what you mean by “traditional”. With a lesbian relationship, I would assume that the traditional way to start a family would be to choose one partner and use a sperm donor, perhaps in a clinic setting. This would be the most cost advantageous method.

As far as what would be needed if you were to carry her baby, it would be similar to a gestational surrogacy, except you would not be a surrogate, but an intended mother.

She would go through an egg retrieval and you would go through IVF. You’d still need a sperm donor, of course.

I’m not certain legally how you would both be put on the birth certificate, since that varies by state with different laws. Find a family lawyer in your state to discuss the legalese.

And as to costs, that varies. Call around to IVF clinics in your area to determine costs.

And as for age, 30 is not too old by any means to undergo IVF. Its probably quite young on the IVF scale. I’m 32 and am pregnant for the third time via IVF. Many women undergo IVF for the first time in their 40’s. Its actually more important that the eggs are young than the woman who is carrying the baby. If your partner is in her 40s, then the quality of the eggs might be questionable. Talk with your IVF clinic about this.