How can a surrogate be left with medical bills?

by Megan
(Great Falls, MT )
How can a surrogate end up with the medical bills from the birth of the baby or the pregnancy? Aren’t the intended parents responsible for them? I mean, the contract states that they are legally responsible, so why would a surrogate mother need to pay them? Can’t she just show the contract to the bill collectors?

Reply by Rayven

There are few reasons a surrogate may end up with medical bills:

1. It may be a simply oversight on the part of the parents. Every doctor (OB/GYN, Anesthesiologist and Pediatrician) that comes in contact with the surrogate and the baby, plus the surrogate’s doctor and the hospital sends a separate bill. One or two might get lost in the shuffle and not paid on time. Alternately, they sometimes take a while to get to the surrogate. So sometimes is unintentional.

2. The hospital/doctor made a mistake. Because the baby’s name is sometimes changed after birth, a bill could be paid under the correct name, but still exist in the previous name (this happened to me). This can make it seem as though there are more bills than there really are.

3. The parents simply do not pay. I’m not sure what the mentality is behind this. Maybe they’re upset at the surrogate, maybe they don’t have the funds, maybe they’re just inconsiderate people, but sometimes the parents simply decide not to pay the bills. They have what they were after (the baby) and they are done with the situation.

Though you may have a contract in place, it does not matter in the eyes of the doctors, hospital, or bill collectors. They simply do not care. The bill is in YOUR name, YOU are listed as the responsible party, and they will come to YOU, legally to collect the funds.

They have the ability to ruin the credit and carry out a judgment against the surrogate, regardless of what her contract states. They can garnish wages against the surrogate, legally. A court will side with the doctors, not the surrogate.

That’s simply the way the legal process works.

The only option a surrogate has is to pay the bills and take her intended parents to court (if they didn’t pay them). Of course, this will require court costs and legal fees.

It is very important that a potential surrogate mother knows that this situation is possible. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: take your time during the matching phase. Get to know one another and form a bond of trust. That is the best way to avoid these types of situations.

How to do Surrogacy for Free

As we have touched base on before, surrogacy is an expensive option. Not everyone is able to afford it. However, there are women out there who believe in altruistic surrogacy and, so are willing to do it for free.
In the minds of many (especially those who don’t really know the ins and outs of the process) surrogacy should be done purely for the sake of helping others. They do not feel that it is right to charge upwards of $18,000 just to help someone become a parent.

However, there is so much more that goes into surrogacy that people who have not done it may not be able to understand. There s the physical, invasive nature of the impregnation process – often requiring numerous injections and treatments. There is the emotional invasiveness as you share a process with strangers that would usually only be shared with your significant other. Then there are all of the physical demands, discomforts, and limitations that come along with any pregnancy, in addition to any extras that are required by the surrogacy contract. For nine or more months, the surrogate mother’s body is not just her own. It is also that of the intended parents, in a sense. When it comes down to it, surrogate mothers deserve some type of compensation.

However, the cool thing is that it is possible to find surrogate mothers who are willing to forego the compensation. Granted, they are few and far between, and they are more than likely going to be amongst your circle of friends and family – however they are out there.

I have to take a minute to point out, though, that when I say “surrogacy for free” I am referring to the compensation fee. All of the other costs associated with a surrogacy would still apply (e.g. hospital and medical bills, surrogacy agency and attorney fees, etc.). You would probably also be responsible for the surrogate’s lost wages and travel expenses. When it comes down to it, the compensation is only a portion of the costs. However, if you are able to find someone who will waive the compensation fee, you will still be saving a significant amount of money.

Can I still be a surrogate after having a C-section?

by Casey
(Lemoore, CA)
When I had my set of twins, I had one vaginally and then the second by C-section so I’m worried that I may not be accepted as a surrogate. Is there still a chance that I could do this?

Reply by Rayven

Having a prior C-section does not affect your chances for becoming a surrogate mother in the least, assuming that your doctor clears you for another pregnancy.

Many, many surrogate mothers have had C-sections before, and many more have them for the first time as surrogate mothers, as multiples are common.

Most likely, since you have already had a C-section, your doctor will require you to have C-sections for all births going forward. This is actually quite helpful in surrogacy, as planning the birth is easier.

Best wishes!

Spotting After Transfer?

by melvina
hi i got inplanted on 22nd of november 2008 and going for my blood test tomorrow but i had spotting last week and this week do you think things have gone wrong

Reply by Rayven

Until you have a positive pregnancy test, it is hard to say whether things have gone right or wrong during your procedure. It could be either way.

Spotting is normal after IVF, up through the first trimester, and is usually not something to worry about unless it is more than spotting, or is red in color as opposed to brown. This is assuming you’re pregnant to begin with.

Good luck to you on your beta test!

How to Afford Surrogacy

Surrogacy can be an expensive option for the intended parents. The average family is not likely to have the extra money that it can take to pursue this family planning option.

Most intended parents have already tried other methods for building their family before they turn to surrogacy. They may have already spent thousands on fertility treatments. And now they are considering surrogacy – which is probably the most expensive option of them all.

When you take into account the compensation fees for the surrogate carrier, medical fees, any medications, fees for the surrogacy agency and attorney’s, doctor’s visits, labor and delivery, the hospital stay, travel expenses, and miscellaneous expenses, a typical gestational surrogacy may cost anywhere between $30,000 to $100,000 So what are some tips on how to afford surrogacy for the average family?

How to Afford Surrogacy Tip #1: Save Up For It
This is probably the most straightforward tip. Many families make sacrifices to be able to save up for the things that they care about. Surrogacy is no exception. People forego costly things such as vacations, new cars, and other high-ticket items as well as save up any extra money. That way they are eventually able to afford surrogacy. However, some people are not willing to wait the amount of time that it would take to save up enough money (especially those who are older), so they pursue other options.

How to Afford Surrogacy Tip #2: Get Financed
Other families will go to the bank to obtain financing to build their family by applying for loans or taking out second mortgages on their homes. Some will even borrow the money from a friend or family member if they can. The downside to this is that you would then be in debt.

How to Afford Surrogacy Tip #3: Go the Traditional Surrogacy Route
Let’s be honest – gestational surrogacy is expensive. The fees associated with multiple IVF treatments can be costly. Another route would be to choose a surrogate carrier who is open to artificial insemination. These days, that can even be done at home so you cut out clinic fees as well. The downside would be that the baby would not have any genetic ties to the intended mother.

How to Afford Surrogacy Tip #4: Eliminate Fees
Another way to save money is to cut out as many fees as possible. To save money on hospital fees, look into home births and midwives. Forego the surrogacy agency and handle everything on your own (be sure to do your research, though). Find a surrogate carrier who already has health insurance. Youcould also negotiate with the surrogate on her compensation fees or find a close friend or family member who is willing to help you for free.

How to Afford Surrogacy Tip #5: Donate Your Eggs
Another option you may not have considered is to donate your eggs for other families. If your eggs are acceptable, you can be compensated quite a bit for them. The result is that you are able to financeyour own surrogacy while also helping another family out.