by Vincent
(Lakeland, FL)

I want to have a baby and be able to raise him/her, but I need someone to carry my baby. How and where do I go about doing that?

Reply by Rayven

Hi Vincent,

It is becoming increasingly common for single men (regardless of their sexual preferences) to seek out a surrogate mother to start a family.

You’ll need to decide if you want a traditional surrogate, or if you’d like to find an egg donor and use a gestational surrogate.

After that, the process is like any other surrogacy, and you can get started by reading this site. Just click the links to the left, read the pages and all links they go to, and move down the list.

I will mention that you will be unable to use a surrogate in the state of Florida. Florida law states that a surrogate may only be used by a married couple. You’ll have to have the baby born in another state.

Best wishes to you!

I am interested in becoming a surrogate but do not know how.

Reply by Rayven
How did I become involved in surrogacy? I literally stumbled upon it.

Several years ago, I saw a made-for-tv-movie about a traditional surrogate mother, and thought in the back of my mind “I could do that someday”. I’m not even sure if I was a mother at that time, it was so long ago. But, as time went by, I forgot about the movie.

Then, a few years ago, I ran across an article in my newspaper looking for egg donors. I wasn’t sure I would qualify to donate eggs because I had had my tubes tied (you can, but I didn’t know it at the time) so while online searching for the answer to this question, I stumbled on surrogacy, and remembered that movie.

I then began the tedious and year-long process of gathering information. I did not want to jump into this blindly, so I took my time (and that is saying alot-I am a very impatient person, quite impulsive, and often make instantaneous decisions on major life changes) and found out absolutely everything there was to know about surrogacy. Then I went through the matching process, which took six more months, before starting my first journey.

The nice thing about all that time I spent, is that I have created this website for you, which took all that research and broke it down into pertinent information that you need to get started.

How do you start? Simple. Read this site. You need all the info that is here.

Just start at the top navigation tab at the left, “About Surrogacy”. Click it, and then click on each link on the page, which will take you to more information about surrogacy. Done with “About Surrogacy”, click the next tab, “Gestational Surrogacy”, and so on, going through the entire site (there are about a hundred pages at this time) until you are done.

During this process, you will learn, specifically, what you need to do in order to become a surrogate mother.

Best wishes!

I am 20 with a son.. and I would love to help other couples who are unable to have a child..

I was just wondering what the odds of me being a surrogate mother.

Reply by Rayven
Well, assuming you are in the United States…

Most states that allow surrogacy require you to be 21. That’s really not a big deal at this point, since the process will probably take until your 21st birthday anyway.

As far as the “odds” of you becoming a surrogate, that’s really up to you. If you pursue this, and you are healthy and meet the requirements, and you are able to deliver in a surrogacy friendly state, then you can be a surrogate.

There are more intended parents looking for surrogates than there are surrogates. You just need to go through the process (which you will find by reading this site, starting with the top tab and going through page by page).

Best wishes.

by Jennifer
(Tampa FL) 

I have signed on to be a Traditional Surrogate. We are in the beginning stages. I have purchased my first round of meds. Should I be asking for money to purchase meds in advance or sending the receipts and getting reimbursement after I purchase the meds?

Reply by Rayven
That depends on what your contract says. Some say that such expenses are reimbursed, and give specific information on where the surrogate should submit receipts (to an escrow agency, for example) while other contracts have the intended parents pay for the medications themselves, and then they are sent to the surrogate, eliminating her need to purchase them altogether.

Surrogacy medications can be very expensive. If your contract does not require you to pay for them and wait for reimbursement, see if your intended parents can set up an account with the pharmacy so that you do not need to pay out of pocket for them.

In my previous (gestational) surrogacies, I did not pay out of pocket for my medications.

by Nicole
(Michigan) 

I know there are a lot of laws surrounding adoption and surrogacy. So I was wondering if the surrogate mother had a time period in which she could ask for the child be returned to her custody like in adoption.

Reply by Rayven

In Gestational Surrogacy in the United States, the gestational surrogate does not have the ability to “claim” the child at any time after the birth. She has no legal right to the child.

In Traditional Surrogacy, laws vary by state. Since with traditional surrogacy the baby is the biological child of the surrogate mother, these situations usually resemble an adoption, in which the traditional surrogate will be required to sign over her rights.

30 days? I’m not familiar with any adoption states that allow this. I’ve heard 3 days.

Bottom line: if you are going with gestational surrogacy, there is no need to worry about such circumstances, but you may need to find a great surrogacy state if interested in traditional surrogacy. Or, simply find an experienced traditional surrogate to ease your fears.

Best wishes