To call or not to call?

Surrogacy-Quote-28by kami

So far I’ve seen that I fit all the normal requirements to become a surrogate, but have had trouble deciding about making the final call for them to contact me, because with my son(1st and only pregnancy)in my previous living arrangement I wasn’t able to seek prenatal care and when my son was born I had a yeast infection(it happens)and he was overdue as well as 9.2 lbs had to be taken by c-section(I’m was only 4’10″&118 huge baby!) perfectly healthy except for the c-section and had trouble breathing after some fluid was found in his lungs from him being overdue the doctors said. I want to be able to have vaginal births if I became a surrogate not to have multiple c-sections.
What do you think my chances are of being approved and physically what my chances are of having a vaginal birth considering my first pregnancy? I want to ease my husbands worry. Thank you.

Reply by Rayven


As far as being approved to become a surrogate mother based on your son’s birth circumstances, you will most likely be able to explain away the unique conditions he was born under as you have done here.

But for the c-sections, realize that a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) let alone multiple VBACs (if you choose to do this more than once) may be a little more difficult.

You will need to find a doctor who performs them in your area, and realize that in some areas, VBACs are simply not done. It will depend on which way your incision was when you had your last cesarean (if it was made up and down instead of side to side you are not eligible for a VBAC), among other factors.

You also need to realize that even if you have the intent of a VBAC, when the time comes, it simply may not be possible. And if you are pregnant with twins (common in surrogacy) it will not be an option.

In addition to all this, you would need to find intended parents comfortable with your choice to attempt a VBAC.

It can be done, but it doesn’t always go as planned.

Good luck!

Can I be a surrogate Mom if I had an abortion?

Surrogacy-Quote-26I had an abortion when my fetus was 9 weeks along, can I still be a surrogate Mom? I am extremely fertile – I got pregnant twice on birth control. I am planning on having my own baby again in a year but after that, I want to think about being a surrogate. My doctor said having a medically safe abortion does NOT affect fertility but I want to know if it affects my chances of being a surrogate Mom.

Reply by Rayven

If you have had an abortion and then have gone on to have your own child thereafter, then no, having an abortion does not alter your ability to become a surrogate mother.

If, however, you have had an abortion and have NOT carried a child to term, then you are NOT eligible to become a surrogate mother until you have given birth to at least one child.

Wait until you have finished having your own children before considering surrogacy.

Best wishes!

how long do you have to decide if you want to keep the baby ?

Surrogacy-Quote-25if you are a surrogate mother how long do you have to decide if you want to keep the baby or continue with the process

Reply by Rayven

None. Gestational surrogate mothers do not have the OPTION of keeping the baby. It’s not their baby. There are no second chances, no changing one’s mind, nothing. The time for second thoughts is before signing the contract and before getting pregnant.

Best wishes!

How much does it cost financially to do the whole surrogacy thing?

Surrogacy-Quote-24I am looking into having a friend be a surrogate for me. I cant have kids due to 2 tubal pregnancies that i have had. My gynecologist told me I wasn’t able to have kids but I can still produce eggs. How does the whole surrogacy thing work.

Reply by Rayven

The best place to go on this site to get started with the surrogacy process is here:

Getting Started in Surrogacy Checklist

As to the costs of surrogacy, this can vary widely. It is not uncommon for a gestational surrogacy to range from $50,000-100,000 or more. However, because you have already found a surrogate mother, and she is a friend, you might save a substantial amount of money from that ballpark figure.

Figure on paying your clinic for the egg retrieval and transfer to the surrogate, at least one time but possibly multiple times, two attorneys to get your contract in place, court fees for the baby’s birth certificate, health insurance for your surrogate mother or her deductibles and co-pays if she already has health insurance, all incidentals of the pregnancy, and a fee to your friend unless she is willing to become your surrogate mother without a fee, among other expenses.

Its very difficult to say that any particular journey is “X” amount of money. But these figures should get you started.

Best wishes.


How long does the surrogacy process generally take?

Surrogacy-Quote-107How long does the surrogacy process generally take?

by Jamie
(Troy, MO)

I have friends who have been trying to have a baby for almost 10 years now, and they’ve just lost their twins at 10 weeks. I’m considering offering to be a surrogate for them, but I was wondering how long the process takes, outside of the 9 months pregnancy, of course. I’m currently in college and I’ll have enough credits to start working in 15 months. Is it reasonable to assume that I could carry their child(ren) and give birth in this amount of time?

Reply by Rayven

The surrogacy process can take just a couple months to get going, or could take more than a year; it depends on several factors.

Fist, how ready are you both to getting started? Do they have a clinic in place? Is there clinic ready to interview/test a surrogate? Do you both have attorneys for your contracts?

After that first wave of organizational stuff is done (it can take a few weeks to get all that together) then there are contracts and testing. Contracts can be slow; it depends on your lawyers and if there are any issues with the contract that need to be hashed out. Testing can be slow if you go through your OB and have to wait for an appointment. Plan on a couple weeks to a couple months for these steps.

Once that is all done, then you need to get with the clinic to coordinate the transfer and get in sync with the intended mother or egg donor. How quick is this? It really depends on the clinic. Could be less than one month, could be three months.

Then, you may not have a successful first transfer. It could take 2 or 3 tries (spaced 1-3 months apart, depending on the clinic) before you are successful, if at all.

So it depends on a lot of factors.

I’d say, if you are all past that initial stage of organizing that I mentioned, if everything goes well and you are successful at your first transfer, then you should be able to complete a journey in your time frame. But you need to be prepared for the fact that it might take longer than that.

Best wishes!