Should Surrogate Mother’s be Recognized on Mother’s Day?


Mother’s Day is a nationally recognized and globally celebrated holiday which focuses on celebrating mothers and motherhood. It also celebrates maternal bonds and the significant impact that mothers have in our world. This year the holiday falls on May 12th in the U.S. so it is quickly approaching. A lot of people debate whether or not pregnant women who have not yet physically had children should be included in the celebrations. Some would say that they should be because you become a mother as soon as you become pregnant. Others would disagree, saying that you are not a mother until your child arrives.

I recently saw this very question being debated on Facebook and it made me wonder “how is Mother’s Day addressed in surrogacy situations?” When a surrogate mother is pregnant, her friends and family are sure to know that the child she is carrying is not her own and that the child will be going to live with the intended family as soon as it is born. So are they expected to extend the same holiday greetings to her? When it comes to the intended parents, what is the general consensus about their celebration of the holiday. Do people feel the need to wish the intended mother a Happy Mother’s Day since she is expecting? Do the intended parents acknowledge the day by sending a gift to the woman that is carrying their child?

Then I wondered about how most surrogate mothers feel about the holiday after they have already given birth and the child is with their intended families. Although it would certainly be nice to hear from my intended families on that day, since I am indeed a mother to my own children I realize that the children that I carried for them are not mine, so I don’t expect to anything on Mother’s Day. However, is this the general consensus. Do other surrogate mother’s feel the same way or are there those who actually wish to hear from their intended families on Mother’s Day?

Being a surrogate mother is definitely an act of sacrifice , just as a traditional pregnancy is. Physically and emotionally you experience much of the same things. So should there be some formal recognition of the surrogate mother’s actions on a continued basis? Or is it best to avoid establishing the surrogate mother as playing the mother role in any way? What do you think? If you are or have been a surrogate mother, do you expect to hear from your intended family on Mother’s Day?

how can I become a surrogate mother?


by claire
I already have 2 children of my own and feel my family is complete. I don’t know what I would have done if I couldn’t have children, it is heart breaking, therefore I have been thinking for some time that I would like to become a surrogate? I live in the U.K. Do I join an agency or advertised on a web site.. if so which one? (as strange as it may sound).
I would really like to help someone.
yours sincerely

Reply by Rayven

Hi Claire,

This site, Information on Surrogacy, primarily deals with surrogate pregnancies in the United States. The laws in the UK are much different than they are over here.

Having said that, the best place to go for getting more information on finding a match is here:

Finding a Surrogacy Match

This page should point you in the right direction on where to find your intended parents.

Best wishes!

Also, please see our six step guide to getting started:

Simple Surrogacy Getting Started Guide

How much it cost for someone to carry my eggs

by Stephanie
(Miami, Florida)
I can’t carry my own babies because I don’t have Uterus, I would like to know how it works. How it cost for a person to carry my baby and how much it will cost me with everything included, Dr. visits to check the pregnancy and Hospital bills, etc. I have my 2 ovaries and service and the only thing I’m missing is my uterus. This surrogate more then adoption? Please I need all the advice I can get.

Reply by Rayven

Hi Stephanie,

Let me try and answer all your questions here. What you are looking for is a gestational surrogate to carry your biological children.

How much does surrogacy cost?
Gestational surrogacy does not have one set price tag, and depends on several factors. How close (distance wise) will you be to your surrogate? A few miles away, or thousands of miles away? Is your surrogate mother a family member who will do it for free, or are you paying compensation to your surrogate? Are you using an agency? Does your surrogate have medical insurance? What are your clinic’s fees?

A good rough estimation of how much it costs to use a surrogate mother would be $50,000-100,000 or more. This would be for everything, not just the compensation of your surrogate.

For more information on the fees intended parents pay:

Fees Intended Parents Pay

Do some pay less? Yes. Some do. And some pay more and don’t end up with a baby. Surrogacy is expensive and risky.

Does surrogacy cost more or less than adoption?
Again, there is no set answer to this. I’ve heard stories of intended parents paying thousands in attorney fees and other expenses only to have the birth mother change her mind at birth. And they’ve had this happen to them more than one time. They might have been better suited, financially, to have started with surrogacy instead.

But then again, there are adopted parents who do not face this happening in their journeys, and have no trouble whatsoever adopting their children. For these parents, adoption is much less expensive than surrogacy.

Generally speaking, if everything goes right, adoption costs less than surrogacy.

Best wishes!

Modesto Surrogacy Schemer Sentenced

Tonya Collins, former owner of SurroGenesis, a surrogacy agency based in Modesto, California, was sentenced on May 13, 2013 to five years and three months in prison. She was charged four counts of wire fraud back in February, to which she pled guilty. In addition to jail time, Collins must also provide monetary restitution to the families she victimized as well as pay a forfeiture judgment to the U.S (the amounts for each will be determined during a hearing on July 29th). It is reported that some of the defendants dropped their lawsuits because of the costs of obtaining an attorney.

Between November of 2006 and March of 2009 Collins purposefully defrauded her clients – families who sought out her agencyin the efforts of making their parenting dreams come true. According to reports, Collins directed her clients to entrust their money (to be used to cover the costs of the surrogacy) to a local personal property escrow company called Michael Charles Independent Financial Holding Group.

What she didn’t tell them was that she was actually the owner of Michael Charles Independent Financial Group. This meant that she had full access to and control of their funds. She was able to get away with this by creating fake employee identities to give off the impression that the Holding Group was actually an independent and fully staffed company.

It was revealed that Collins, over the course of the 2.5 years, used both the Surrogenesis account and the Michael Charles Independent Financial Holding Group account to fund personal expenditures. She used money to buy new cars, expensive jewelry and clothes, new homes, as well as to pay for vacations. Reports indicate that over the course of the two and a half years that she was operating her fraudulent scheme, Collins managed to misappropriate over two million dollars in funds.

Because of her lofty spending, SurroGenesis soon started having serious financial issues. Surrogate families found that their surrogacy fees were not being paid as expected. As you can imagine, many families were impacted by Collins actions.

Ok, lovely readers, what do you think? Do you think that the justice that was meted out was fair? Do you feel as though restitution should also be paid out to those who were unable to cover the attorney fees? For those of you who have considered surrogacy, does stories like this give you a great deal of hesitation? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

I am thinking of becoming a surrogate

by lisa
i need information on becoming a surrogate in England.
happy to help couples but unaware if the legal issues.

Reply by Rayven

This website, Information on Surrogacy, primarily deals with surrogacy taking place in the United States. Foreign laws vary greatly, and your best bet will be to contact a local surrogacy agency.

For information on the process, payment and qualifications, this site will be very helpful for you.


Please see our six step guide to getting started:

Simple Surrogacy Getting Started Guide