by Elizabeth
(ohio)

I am currently pregnant with my own baby (my 4th actully) but I love being pregnant. I have been thinking about this for a long time. I hate the idea of people wanting to have a baby and not being able to. I really think i want to do this but I need to know how long after I have my baby I should wait before I start applying to agencies.

Reply by Rayven

Hi Elizabeth,

You only need to wait as long as your doctor recommends. Once he “clears” you for your next pregnancy, you can apply to become a surrogate mother.

For me, my doctor cleared me for another pregnancy at my 6 week checkup after delivering twins. (We waited six months anyway.)

Most doctors will clear you between 6 weeks and 6 months, though if you experienced complications it might be a year.

Best wishes! 

by Jamie
(CT, USA)
Rayven,

I had this procedure 18 months after my daugher was born by an emergency C-section. Two years prior to my daugher’s birth I gave birth by emergency C-section to my son. My pregnancies were perfect. Labor was induced with my son when he was a week overdue. My cervix did not dilate after laboring and the C-section was done. My intention was to do a VBAC with my daughter, but when I went into labor spontaneously with her after she was 9 days overdue, again, I did not dilate and the C-section was done to deliver her. I did not have any difficulty getting pregnant either time eventhough my uterus was retroverted. Unfortunately, the uterus settled into a very retroverted position after my daughter’s birth and some scar tissue on the uterus attached it to my rectum, causing incredible pain during my periods. I have been fine since the UPLIFT surgery. I’m very interested in becoming a surrogate mother, but fear that these complications since my children were born may cause me to appear as a poor candidate for surrogacy. This would be sad as I meet all other criteria for this special opportunity. Thank you for your feedback.

Jamie

Reply by Rayven

Jamie,

If I am reading this correctly, you had the surgery AFTER the delivery of your last child? Meaning you have not been pregnant since?

Surrogacy is an interesting industry in that there are very few hard and fast rules. Most likely, you will have difficulty finding a match. Once you do find a match, the very first thing you need to do is to talk to their IVF clinic and find out if they would accept you due to your previous history.

As to whether you will be accepted, I just don’t know. They may or they may not. One clinic may say no while another says yes.

I wouldn’t give up on this at this point without trying at least once or twice.

Best wishes!

by michelle
(Glasgow)
I have 3 beautiful children of my own and would love to be a surrogate but not sure how to get started. Can you give me any advice?

Reply by Rayven

I have many people ask me the easiest way to get started in surrogacy. So, I created a one page checklist/guide to help you out:

Getting Started in Surrogacy Guide

I am thinking about becoming a gestational carrier for my aunt. I have 2 childern, and am still nursing my son, my youngest. I have my oldests footprint on the top of my left foot and want to get my youngest on my other foot. I plan to nurse for 2 more months and I was told I have to wait 3 months after stopping nursing to begin all of the testing. So my question is, do you think it would be ok if I got my son’s footprint before I became a surrogate, sometime during the 3 month period? I’ve heard you have to wait 6 months to a year to donate blood after getting a tattoo, is it the same with becoming pregnant? I am ok putting it off until after having the baby, but of course I would rather do it sooner rather than later. What do you think?

Reply by Rayven

Most surrogacy applications ask if you have had a tattoo within the last year. This is not to “become pregnant” it is a silly rule required by clinics when it comes to disease, such as AIDS. (Even though we know that tattoo artists use new needles, etc. ) I myself am a tattoo’d mom, and have put off getting another tattoo until my surrogacy days are done.

I would wait. The last think you want is to find that you cannot be a surrogate mother for your aunt simply because you got inked. There will be time to do it after the surrogate baby is born.

Best wishes!

by grecia montoya
(slc ut, usa)
I have a couple questions. i am 20 yrs old, i have a child of my own already but i am not married, only engaged.
Do i have to be married to be a surrogate mother?
How much do families ussually pay for a surrogate mother?
Am i old enough?

Reply by Rayven
Grecia,

You do not have to be married to become a surrogate mother, though you should be stable financially and you should have a support system in place of family and friends who understand surrogacy and are willing to help you.

As to your age, most states would like you to be 21, but I would not let that discourage you. Do your research now, and when you are ready, start looking for a match. By the time you finish research, find a match, and start the testing/contract phase, you most likely will have passed your 21st birthday.

Surrogate compensation can be found here:
Surrogacy Compensation

Typical compensation is around $18-22K for a first time surrogate mother.

Best wishes!