How long does the surrogacy process generally take?

Surrogacy-Quote-107How long does the surrogacy process generally take?

by Jamie
(Troy, MO)

I have friends who have been trying to have a baby for almost 10 years now, and they’ve just lost their twins at 10 weeks. I’m considering offering to be a surrogate for them, but I was wondering how long the process takes, outside of the 9 months pregnancy, of course. I’m currently in college and I’ll have enough credits to start working in 15 months. Is it reasonable to assume that I could carry their child(ren) and give birth in this amount of time?

Reply by Rayven

The surrogacy process can take just a couple months to get going, or could take more than a year; it depends on several factors.

Fist, how ready are you both to getting started? Do they have a clinic in place? Is there clinic ready to interview/test a surrogate? Do you both have attorneys for your contracts?

After that first wave of organizational stuff is done (it can take a few weeks to get all that together) then there are contracts and testing. Contracts can be slow; it depends on your lawyers and if there are any issues with the contract that need to be hashed out. Testing can be slow if you go through your OB and have to wait for an appointment. Plan on a couple weeks to a couple months for these steps.

Once that is all done, then you need to get with the clinic to coordinate the transfer and get in sync with the intended mother or egg donor. How quick is this? It really depends on the clinic. Could be less than one month, could be three months.

Then, you may not have a successful first transfer. It could take 2 or 3 tries (spaced 1-3 months apart, depending on the clinic) before you are successful, if at all.

So it depends on a lot of factors.

I’d say, if you are all past that initial stage of organizing that I mentioned, if everything goes well and you are successful at your first transfer, then you should be able to complete a journey in your time frame. But you need to be prepared for the fact that it might take longer than that.

Best wishes!

How did you become a surrogate?

Surrogacy-Quote-122How did you become a surrogate?

I am interested in becoming a surrogate but do not know how.

Reply by Rayven
How did I become involved in surrogacy? I literally stumbled upon it.

Several years ago, I saw a made-for-tv-movie about a traditional surrogate mother, and thought in the back of my mind “I could do that someday”. I’m not even sure if I was a mother at that time, it was so long ago. But, as time went by, I forgot about the movie.

Then, a few years ago, I ran across an article in my newspaper looking for egg donors. I wasn’t sure I would qualify to donate eggs because I had had my tubes tied (you can, but I didn’t know it at the time) so while online searching for the answer to this question, I stumbled on surrogacy, and remembered that movie.

I then began the tedious and year-long process of gathering information. I did not want to jump into this blindly, so I took my time (and that is saying alot-I am a very impatient person, quite impulsive, and often make instantaneous decisions on major life changes) and found out absolutely everything there was to know about surrogacy. Then I went through the matching process, which took six more months, before starting my first journey.

The nice thing about all that time I spent, is that I have created this website for you, which took all that research and broke it down into pertinent information that you need to get started.

How do you start? Simple. Read this site. You need all the info that is here.

Just start at the top navigation tab at the left, “About Surrogacy”. Click it, and then click on each link on the page, which will take you to more information about surrogacy. Done with “About Surrogacy”, click the next tab, “Gestational Surrogacy”, and so on, going through the entire site (there are about 150 pages at this time) until you are done.

During this process, you will learn, specifically, what you need to do in order to become a surrogate mother.

Best wishes!

When do you get reimbursed in surrogacy?

Surrogacy-Quote-46Do you receive money in advance for medications or reimbursement after the fact?

by Jennifer
(Tampa FL)

I have signed on to be a Traditional Surrogate. We are in the beginning stages. I have purchased my first round of meds. Should I be asking for money to purchase meds in advance or sending the receipts and getting reimbursement after I purchase the meds?

Reply by Rayven
That depends on what your contract says. Some say that such expenses are reimbursed, and give specific information on where the surrogate should submit receipts (to an escrow agency, for example) while other contracts have the intended parents pay for the medications themselves, and then they are sent to the surrogate, eliminating her need to purchase them altogether.

Surrogacy medications can be very expensive. If your contract does not require you to pay for them and wait for reimbursement, see if your intended parents can set up an account with the pharmacy so that you do not need to pay out of pocket for them.

In my previous (gestational) surrogacy journeys, I did not pay out of pocket for my cycle medications, though I would cover things like birth control pills or prescription prenatals and was reimbursed.

What in your opinion are some of the cons of surrogacy?

Surrogacy-Quote-30by shannon
(haines )

I am a student at Akron Institute and i and a few fellow students are doing a class project and our topic was surrogacy. And i was wondering if you could tell me what the cons were of the surrogacy process would be.

Reply by Rayven

Hi Shannon,

Yes, there are cons to surrogacy. Here are a few of the biggest.

1. Costs
Surrogacy is extremely expensive, and out of reach for many infertile couples. The ones who do choose surrogacy often are regular, middle class Americans (or their counterparts from other countries) who sacrifice greatly in order to become parents.

2. Poor Matching
Many surrogate mothers and intended parents are so eager to get started that they rush the matching process instead of taking their time and finding the best people to go through this fantastic journey with. Often, what happens is that there are severe personality conflicts that can destroy a fragile relationship, and make the entire process quite miserable.

Also, sometimes due to rushing the matching process, one party (either the surrogate or the intended parents) ends up being less than ethical, and leaves the other party with great financial burdens.

3. No Guarantees
Surrogacy is an emotional whirlwind for everyone involved. And it is an extremely expensive process. But the kicker is that at the end of the day, there are no guarantees. There are no promises that a happy, healthy baby will be born. Transfers fail. Miscarriages and premature births happen. The reality is that a couple can use up all their savings and still be left without a baby.

One interesting thing I think I should mention: it is a myth that surrogate mothers try to keep babies they give birth to. While this happens in extremely rare cases (much the same way you hear every once in a while about a baby being stolen from a hospital) it is truly not a cause for concern in the surrogacy community.

Am I eligible for surrogacy?

Surrogacy-Quote-106by leslie

I had my uterus and cervix removed. Can I have my eggs removed and his sperm put together and have someone carry our baby?

Reply by Rayven


If you still have your ovaries intact, and they are producing viable eggs, then yes, what you are describing is possible, and quite common in gestational surrogacy.

Best wishes!