I am a 59 year physician who is cnsidering have a child thorugh surrogacy. Is this possible?

I am a 59 male physician who has had sevral children with my wife. We are considering having another child thorugh surragacy. Would there ever be any age restriction for the intended parent?

Reply by Rayven
There is no age restriction for the intended parents, especially not for the intended father. There are surrogate mothers (moms helping their daughters by becoming their gestational surrogate) in their late 50s, early 60s, and most intended parents are older when they decide to go through surrogacy to complete their families.

Not a problem at all.

Back to back surrogacys

How long should a surrogate wait between pregnancies? We have a friend that is currently pregnant in her first surrogacy and she has agreed to be our gestational surrogate. How long will she need to wait before starting our first cycle?

Reply by Rayven
There is no set rule for this. Ultimately, you will need to wait until her OB/GYN has cleared her for another pregnancy. Mine cleared me at my 6 week checkup after I gave birth to my first set of surrogate twins. I did not have a c-section.

Some doctors will suggest a 3-6 month or even longer waiting period. And just because her doctor clears her, doesn’t mean she should necessarily start another journey that soon. She will need to wait until both her doctor has cleared her and she feels ready to start another journey.

For me, I gave birth to the twins in February and did the next transfer (frozen, one embryo transferred, successful full term pregnancy) that October.

So, bottom line, her OB/GYN needs to clear her, and both you and she need to be comfortable with another pregnancy.

Fertility: Its Not an Exact Science

…from a reader

I tried for a baby for 5 years. It’s a long process because there are so many steps you have to take to rule out various problems.

First and foremost, and by far the easiest procedure is testing the sperm. Although guys will never agree that it’s any easy thing to do because it is humiliating but they get bragging rights when the test reports active swimmers!

I had a laparoscope inserted through my belly button, to look for blockages and everything looked normal. There was no apparent reason for my infertility. Back then, we didn’t have ovulation testing, which would have made my wait much shorter because that was my problem. After 2 ½ years of trying on our own I started having Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG) injections, to induce ovulation.

The one thing we missed, was talking about my cycle length. Ovulation occurs 14 days before the start of your monthly cycle, which in a 28 day cycle is on the 14th day after your period ends. It is commonly known that women ovulate on the 14th day. I had a 32 day cycle, so my ovulation occurred 4 days later, and for the year we were sent away to try on our own, me missed the mark every month.

One doctor told me that living below sea level, which I did, was a contributing factor. However, I have never read anything to support this. Eventually I fell pregnant and had my first child after 5 years. My second child took another year of hCG injections.

The whole process can cause much stress on your relationship and it can cause depression. For me, I felt guilty going into baby stores, I felt like a thief who had no right to be there because I wasn’t pregnant. I hated knowing that friends and family were reluctant to share news of their pregnancy, for fear of hurting my feelings, which it did. Most of all I hated reminding my husband that tonight was the night.

After two children I relocated from the UK to the USA, were I fell pregnant 3 more times with no intervention whatsoever…. go figure, it’s not an exact science.

Am I eligible to be a surrogate mother?

by Jessica

I have read the qualifications. I have two children and I have been thinking about becoming a surrogate mother. I think it would be really nice to bring joy to others lives. The requirements do talk about not being applicable if there is a history of toxemia or preeclampsia my first child I had both. My second child was very healthy and I had no problems or concerns. So this would stop me from going any further?

Reply by Rayven
Surrogacy is an interesting process, because nearly all the “requirements” (aside from having had at least one child and being old enough) have a little wiggle room, and often can be completely set aside. Because you have had one birth after the difficulties, you may still be eligible.

It will be much more difficult to match, however. Not only must you find a set of intended parents willing to take a chance on you, but you will also need to find a set of intended parents with a clinic that is willing to take a chance on you.

Personally, I would match through an agency. That way this information has been thoroughly gone through and dealt with long before the intended parents (and their clinic) get into the picture; meaning, if an agency will accept you, there is no reason why a set of intended parents would not.

Best wishes!

Premature Birth at 33 Weeks

…from a reader

My daughter was born six weeks prematurely. My due date was January 29th, but at 4:30 am on December 14th my water broke!

After being admitted into the hospital, our doctor and the N-ICU nurses came to talk with us. They told us anything and everything that could happen with a premature birth. As soon as they left the room, I just cried and cried. I was so worried for my daughter.

I was only 33 weeks pregnant, but they were hoping I would get to at least 34 weeks so Makenzie would have better odds of being healthy. I was on bed rest in the hospital for four days before i went into natural labor.

The stay was so long and dreadful. I was constantly being poked by needles for blood tests every 3 hours to make sure I wasn’t getting an infection that would put my daughter at risk. Because of having an I.V. in me 24/7 my body swelled up to the point where it couldn’t possibly swell anymore. So, with my swollen limbs, it took about 3+ pokes to find a vein EACH time I had to get blood taken. I had so many bruises on my arms and hands, it was ridiculous!

On the fourth day, just a day short of 34 weeks I went into labor. I had wanted to do a natural birth without any pain medication, but by this day my body was done! I had spent four miserable days in the hospital, and had gotten a total of about 5-6 hours of sleep the whole time. My body was exhausted, and I couldn’t handle it.

Getting the Epidural was such a relief! My beautiful daughter was born December 17th at 3:17 and was 5lbs 2oz and 17.5 inches long!!! She was as healthy as can be, and I was so in love!

She spent 11 days in the N-ICU because it was mandatory for her to gain the weight back that she lost the first week. But other than that, she didn’t have any issues.

It was so incredibly hard leaving the hospital without her. People who haven’t gone through it, don’t have the slightest clue of how painful it is. We had to visit our baby on Christmas at the hospital, we didn’t have her home with us.

When I think about how it all happened, I wish it wasn’t the way it was. I feel sad that I didn’t have a good birthing experience. However, I am so thankful that my daughter is healthy! I know everything happens for a reason, but I just hope that with our second child – the experience will be better!